Please tell your story
I once missed out on a promotion and was told, "You're a good worker, but we don't really know you." The feedback left a lasting impression on me because I was guarded, keeping my personal and professional life separate, following the traditional philosophy of my parents of "working hard and keeping my head down.” I kept this approach even after finally achieving that promotion.
However, when I changed companies, I decided to be slightly more open and share more about my personal life and interests. To my surprise, it made a big difference. I was able to build relationships quickly and had more influence in decision-making, even making a few friends at work with similar interests.
As I climbed the ranks, I realized the importance of showing more emotions at work. This happened unexpectedly when I was overcome with pride for my team's exceptional performance. This allowed us to become even closer, breaking the "rule" of not showing vulnerability in the workplace. Later, I also learned how to use my passion to dissent with impact when I disagreed with decisions made by the executive team. This was especially challenging after the murder of George Floyd, when I wanted my organization to do more to support our employees.
Before speaking up, I carefully considered 5 key areas:
My audience
Carefully choosing stories with impact
Deciding the timing
Tailoring my communication style
Identifying my goals
After much thought, I decided to be vulnerable and share my experiences of discrimination with the executive leadership team along with specific recommendations for action. It was a risk, but my message was met with empathy, openness, and action.
During Black History Month (USA), I encourage you to take the chance to be vulnerable and selectively share your story. Though it can be an emotionally draining experience, it can also spark change. Be intentional with this precious personal moment and remember that you have control over who you share with and how much you reveal.
Sharing can go beyond this month and have a lasting impact, just like when celebrities like Robin Roberts share their personal health struggles with the goal to educate, inspire, and encourage. I recently shared a brief summary of my experience as a caretaker in a company-wide meeting. Though hesitant, it was a powerful moment for both the attendees and me. It sparked conversations that allowed others to share and provided a psychologically safe environment to explore their challenges as a parent or caregiver.
The goal is not to share every detail or expose every tender memory, but to impact and inspire others. Especially as a leader, by sharing your story this month and throughout the year, you can build stronger bonds with your team and make it easier for others to open up to you. Take the risk, we need to hear your unique perspective.